The Things They Say

Many victims feel alone and scared, like nobody else knows what they are going through. Abusers use their words to create that sense of isolation and fear. Survivors that MSCFV worked with have reported many threats by their abusers that made them stay. Here is just a sample of Abuser Quotes that the MSCFV team has heard over the years. We share these so that you know that you are not alone, that many survivors have heard these threats and created a new life without violence, and the the MSCFV team is here to help you when you are ready.

Using the Children/family:

If you leave, you will never see me or the kids again.

If you leave and call the police, DSS will take the children away from you.

You have no one to support you because your friends/family love me more.


Using Coercion & Threats of Violence towards you, your family or pets, themselves

If you try to leave, I will kill myself, I will hunt you down and kill you, or I will kill us all; you me and the kids. 

If you leave me, I will make your life a living hell. 

If you leave, I will post nude pictures of you for the whole world to see.

If you leave, I will kill the cat, the dog, etc.

If the police make me leave my house, I will burn it down with you and the kids in it.

If you leave me, I will make sure you never have any peace because I will find you and if I don’t, I have people who will.

No one will believe you.

What would God say? You took vows before God. You swore on the Bible. You have to stay.

If you leave, I will kill myself.


Character Threats

If you leave, I will say you are a bad parent who left your children and separated the family.

If you leave I will post the picture of you cheating online.

If you leave, I will tell all the people that you left me for another man.

I will take the Kids because I will tell everyone you are crazy.

If you leave I will go to the police and tell them you assaulted me.


 Medical Issues Threats

If you leave I will let everyone know about your Mental Health (or other) Diagnosis.

If you leave I will write a letter to the government letting them know you are not really disabled.

If you leave I will disclose your drug addiction and tell people you are getting high again.


Using Economic Abuse

If you leave me you will have nothing. I paid for everything you have. You won't be getting any money from me. 

I have more money then you and I will win against you in any court hearing.

I will make sure you won’t ever work again.

You have no education and I do so I will be the one that ends up with custody of the children.


Using Emotional Abuse

If you leave, you will die old and alone because no one else is going to put up with you. 

You have nowhere else to go.

If you leave, I will tell everyone what a whore you are and how you slept with everyone in town.

If you leave I will make all your friends and family turn their back on you. 

I will reveal the things that we did behind closed doors (sexual preferences).

You are worthless and you won’t have nothing without me.

Everyone knows it’s you not me.

I will tell your parents what you’ve done.

You wont have any friends/family because they will believe me.

I will tell your secrets.

You are not strong enough to leave me and make it on your own.


Additional Threats When Immigration is an Issue:

If you leave, you will be deported.

If you leave, I will call the Immigration authorities, ICE and they will get you and deport you.

You cannot leave me because I have all of your important immigration documents and I will destroy them.

If you leave, I will find you and I will take the children with me and leave the country.

If you leave, I will fight for custody of my children, you will lose because you are an undocumented immigrant. I am an American citizen (or Legal Permanent Resident). I have rights in this country, and you do not.

If you leave, I will report you and the children (undocumented children) to DHS. They will separate you from them and you will never see them again.

You will not survive without me in this country, you do not speak English, you do not work, you do not drive, you do not have family or friends. The DSS will take the children and give them up for adoption.

We are currently collecting items to help the children of the domestic abuse survivors we are working with have a strong start to this school year. To learn how you can help these children, click here.